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<p>Moon Zaman, <em>Iris</em> intern, was among students who spoke at the Women’s Center’s reception for our graduating interns, YWLP Big Sisters, MLP Big Brothers, graduate fellows, and volunteers. Read more writing from the <em>Iris</em> team&nbsp;at https://iris.virginia.edu/" target="_blank">iris.virginia.edu</a>.</p>

I found Iris through a freelance piece I wrote for Mental Health Awareness Week during the pandemic year. I remember distinctly, coming into the internship interview with Mary Esselman, our wonderful Iris editor, and now, my mentor, with expectations based on other interviews I’d had on Grounds. I was armed with all my talking points about my involvements on Grounds and past work experiences. Last on my list was my actual passion for writing.

I was completely thrown off by Mary’s questions. “What kind of things do you like writing?” “What was the last thing you wrote?” Flabbergasted, I said “Sometimes…sometimes I write poems? The most recent thing I wrote was fanfic- I mean fiction.” We spent the next hour having the most wonderful conversation about writing, what I liked writing about, and what I hoped to gain through this experience.

And I think that’s a perfect analogy for what it’s like to be a part of the Iris team. I was a transfer student, but a lot of UVA students struggle to find a sense of belonging and community and spaces where they are able to be completely themselves. The Iris team and the Women’s Center gave me that. I never felt pressured to constantly be productive if I was struggling with my health, mentally or physically. I never needed to downplay any aspect of my identity. Rather, I received warm wishes and check-ins, and I truly felt celebrated here, just by virtue of being me.

And I think that’s the beauty of being here - everyone comes from so many diverse backgrounds, and everyone has different specialties and talents. Yet everyone works together to make the Women’s Center both a safe space and a brave space. I spent the last year nurturing a passion I thought would only stay private to me, and I grew not only as a writer, but also as a human being. To my wonderful team, I just wanted to thank everyone personally. Mary, Cady, Lexi, Addie, Andi, Sadie, Juliana, Katie, Kexuan, Pasha, Mesina, Kim, Yumna and all our freelance writers: thank you so much for giving me the priceless gift of not only loving me, but helping me to love myself.

And after this past year, I think I’ve finally grown confident enough to call myself a “writer.” (It’s still in quotation marks, but we’re working on it). And with this label I’ve claimed, or reclaimed, I want to share this poem I wrote that I hope, even just a little, will embody the spirit of the wonderful work being done here at the Women’s Center.

Words
by Moon Zaman

When I was young, my mother use to quote Hamlet at me,
There’s a scene where he’s asked, “What do you read, my Lord?"
And he says, “Words, Words, Words."
There were words in the first story I wrote when I was 3
And in the first poem I performed at 16
In the books I loved to read
The songs I liked to sing
Words I wished I’d said And sometimes, ones I wished I didn’t

When I first wrote words here,
I was actually afraid I’d lost them
They came back slowly
With kindness, and courage, and compassion
Made real by the people who gave them back to me
One by one

I haven’t found all the words yet
But I’m certain that they’ll come to me somehow
Realizing that sharpness and softness
Are two sides of the same coin
And in-between, the sliver
Of who you are
And the people you hold dear
Is what gives way to the words you’ve been searching for
All along

There’s words here, too, in this house we’ve built
Trials and tribulations
Honor and celebration
Reminders and remembrance
Promises to carry forward,
So we don’t fall through

And this will be the hard part:
Choosing words, words words
To build, to live, to hold
So that love is the legacy you leave behind
These words were not mine, but I have made them mine
The world is not yours, but you can make it yours
So make it yours