Gender Violence: Identity-Based Info

Asians, Asian-Americans and/or Pacific Islanders represent a wide range of peoples and cultures, or descendants of immigrants to the United States, from the East Asian region to Southeast Asia, from the Indian subcontinent to areas of the Middle East. This section will focus on survivors of East Asian or Pacific Island descent; survivors from the subcontinent (India, Pakistan, etc.) may find information under “I am a South Asian Survivor.” There is additional information for Muslim survivors in the “I Come From a Culture with Traditional Faith Beliefs and Practices.”

If you are Asian American, the traditional cultural backgrounds of your parents or other ancestors have been blended to varying degrees with aspects of American culture. You may find yourself balancing dual (or more) identities. During a crisis, such as sexual assault, this balancing act can be very difficult.

According to the API Institute:

By dint of their immigrant, refugee, and/or other historically marginalized identities, API survivors face barriers that are compounded by sociocultural factors such as economics (dependency on men as sole wage-earners in traditional families, low wage work for immigrant women), immigration status (e.g., threats of deportation and dependency on abusive family members), culture (e.g., tightly prescribed gender roles), religion (e.g., expectations to submit to male authority), systems failure (e.g., in providing interpreters), homophobia, victim-blaming communities, and limited English proficiency. 
Survivors from API communities face batterer-generated, family-generated, community-generated, and system-generated barriers, exerted in, and fortified by, a culture of hostility towards immigrants and refugees.

One consequence of traditional values within Asian communities is that having been raped can result in terrible feelings of shame on the part of survivors, threatening to bring disgrace to you and your family if it is revealed. 

Similar to U.S. culture writ large, with the Asian community women are also devalued. Thus you may feel that you are somehow responsible for what has happened. As a woman you may also feel that you can only expect such things will happen to you. You may feel burdened by the shame of your assault. An added complication are the obstacles created by a binary sexual hierarchy; if you are LGBTQ+ you may have a hard time discussing this with anyone. These feelings are very understandable, given their cultural context. Your reactions should also be appreciated by counseling professionals whose job is support and understand you.

You have control over what course of action is taken after the assault, including how and with whom this information is shared. If you are a UVA student, your parents will not be notified about your situation, the only exception being if you are a minor (under the age of 18). You do have the option, however, of asking someone from the University to inform your parents if you wish this to happen, rather than doing it yourself. Again, this can only happen if you give someone permission to do so.

It’s not unusual that in some Asian and Asian American cultures the whole subject of sexuality is taboo. You may feel that you must keep your experience a secret in order to avoid shaming yourself and your family. If this is so, then talking about a sexual assault may be even more difficult and upsetting. Yet, talking about the experience in detail can help relieve or lessen symptoms. You may want to consider seeking counseling. You have the right to request a counselor who is skilled in working on either issues of sexual assault and/or with Asian American people. Professional counselors have an ethical and legal obligation to maintain confidentiality. Your counselor should also be sensitive to your perspective and proceed at a pace that is comfortable for you. Remember that sexual assault is never the responsibility of the survivor.

You decide what you want to talk about in these counseling sessions. When you are ready, you may find it very helpful.

There are local and national resources that may be helpful to you. Many of these resources are listed on the Resources page. In particular, you may find The Asian Pacific Institute on Gender Based Violence to have a wealth of information and supportive resources for you.

It is a myth that sexual assault only happens to a certain type of woman. Just like many other women who have been assaulted, you may feel anxious, depressed, angry or guilty. All of these feelings are normal, but due to different cultural beliefs and expectations, you may have some feelings or thoughts that are unique to you as a Black woman.

You may have been taught as a child that African-American women are strong and should bear any burden alone without complaining. You may feel that you shouldn’t tell anyone about your sexual assault. “Never take your business in the streets.” The truth is that you have been violated and you are in pain. It’s OK to talk to someone about what has happened and to get help.

You may feel that you can’t trust anyone or that the legal system and mental health profession, as part of white society, will not support or understand you. You may also be afraid to press charges if your assailant was Black. You may not want to “turn against your own kind,” nor want to perpetuate any negative stereotypes about Black men or women.

It may be difficult for you to seek help if you feel that it would be at the expense of African-American men or your community. However, pursuing help for yourself does not detract from your loyalty. Remember, you can be victimized in three ways: by the assault itself; the way in which the assault is dealt with (i.e., who is told, their reactions); and by your own self-perception. You can empower yourself and feel less helpless by finding someone to talk to who is trustworthy and who understands your unique cultural perspective. If you are a UVA student, you may also want to contact the Office of African American Affairs for support. In addition, the Maxine Platzer Lynn Women’s Center and CAPS have counselors who are trained to provide appropriate support for survivors of color as well as staff who are people of color, if that is a specific concern that you have.

The Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Hotline has staff of color (although those individuals may not be on duty at the time of your call).

Although the terms Latinx, Hispanic and Latin American actually refer to many different nationalities and cultures—from Mexican and Caribbean to Central and South American—there are some shared experiences among them. In some Latinx cultures, women tend to be given restrictive gender roles that require submission to men. Also, some Latinas experience a lack of encouragement in educational goals and independence. The expectations of men, on the other hand, are that they should be successful at any cost, including wielding tremendous power over women. LGBTQ+ Latinx survivors may also receive mixed message or event outright rejection from their families because of their identities, which adds to a sense of alienation and pain--especially if you would otherwise turn to your families for support during these times.

If you are Latina, you may have learned that men are not expected to take responsibility for their sexual behavior. You may have been taught that this is a woman’s role. This makes a sexual assault or intimate partner violence assault seem to be your problem, not his.

Because of the obstacles created by this binary sexual hierarchy, as a Latina or Latino survivor you may have a very hard time reporting your sexual assault. You may feel shame; or you may believe that the assault was your fault; or that you have been "damaged" because you are no longer a virgin if you had no sexual experience before the assault. You may believe that it is not proper or feminine to talk about such things. Men may feel that it is a sign of weakness to be a victim of sexual assault and/or to speak about sexual assault.

You may also fear that you will bring dishonor on your family—and you may fear that your family will affirm those feelings. You may fear blame and accusation from others. You may believe that it is not proper or feminine to talk about such things.

Other factors may affect your reaction to an assault. Your identification with Latin@ cultural traditions can be affected by how many years or generations you or your family have lived in the US and to what degree you have assimilated into North American culture. Moreover, certain stereotypes in U.S. culture having to do with Latinos and especially Latinas may hold you back from reporting the assault and seeking the help you need.

Also, if you are an immigrant, you may have experienced sexual violations and torture during periods of conflict in your country of origin, or been assaulted while coming into the United States if you traveled here under difficult circumstances. It is common for both violent crime and even natural disasters to trigger old memories of trauma, even if you believed that you had moved on. Although it may not be culturally acceptable to speak with others about this pain, this may be the time to reach out for help. There are people who can help you find paths to healing.

Your degree of fluency and comfort with speaking in English while you are in crisis may affect your ability to have your needs addressed. You have the right to ask for a Spanish, Portuguese, or other native language interpreter during counseling, legal proceedings, or interviews with the police.

As a South Asian survivor, you may feel a lot of conflicting emotions about the assault, who you might speak with about it, and whether anyone would really understand your situation, your culture, and how these issues are viewed within your community. Just visiting this website and seeking accurate information already indicates that you are motivated to do something about it--but perhaps you aren’t sure what that might be. You may even feel an ignited flame inside you to fight for your justice. 

Just as in the East Asian communities, the traditional cultural backgrounds of your parents or other ancestors have been blended to varying degrees with aspects of American culture. You may find yourself balancing dual (or more) identities. During a crisis, such as sexual assault, this balancing act can be very difficult.

Although traditional values are not universal among South Asian families, discussing anything sexual may be highly forbidden before marriage and is strictly reserved for your husband. Maybe you are in a serious relationship in college and his/her future seems bright, you might be questioning what to do as you love that person. You may be feeling shame, a sense of “how did I get into this position in the first place and what if people think I was already involved in something sexual”. If you are close to your family, and your family holds more traditional views, you might fear that you will bring shame to them. Your family may want you to be pure for your future husband. If you are married, you may be under the assumption that it is your duty as a wife to be there for your husband whenever he finds it convenient for him. It does not matter what situation you were in, it does not matter what societal conventions may be tormenting you, you do not deserve this treatment, nor did you do anything to bring on the injustice you have endured. You might also be surprised at the support you may receive from family members--including parents.     

Or you could find yourself on the other side of the situation; you have opened up to someone about this injustice and they have told you to keep hush, or maybe your family has arranged a marriage to a man willing to accept this “baggage” in order to sweep this “impurity” under the rug. Again, nothing justifies this act of violence against you. As a woman, you might have a fear of not being believed or maybe “over-analyzing” the situation. If you felt like you were violated, you were. 

Feeling as if you are responsible and somehow could have prevented this is common and feeling so is understandable. However, the injustice was not called upon by you, and if you feel the need to speak out against it, we are here to help and encourage you to do so. 

If you are a UVA student, staff or faculty member, it might help you to know that there are people who can provide confidential support to you as you figure out what steps to take in your healing. They may or may not be fluent in knowledge of the South Asian community, but they are skilled listeners and can help you figure things out. In addition, there are organizations tailored to your unique circumstances and people that are willing to hear and help you. Sakhi is an organization created to end violence against South Asian women. Manavi is also an organization geared towards specifically aiding South Asian women that were survivors of sexual violence. 

LGBTQ+ Gender-Non-Conforming and/or Non-Binary people are as likely to experience sexual assault or intimate partner violence as those who are heterosexual/cisgender. According to the CDC, bisexual women and transgender people are at the greatest risk of sexual and intimate partner violence. Gay and bisexual men also report high levels of violence, with highest levels among bisexual men and among men of color. This is important to keep in mind, because often our victim-blaming culture heaps responsibility for this violence on LGBTQ+ people, rather than assigning blame properly on the perpetrators, who are often taking advantage of survivors' vulnerability in order to inflict harm.

If you have been sexually assaulted or are in an abusive relationship, you are not alone. Local agencies serving the UVA and Charlottesville communities actively provide services to LGBTQ+ survivors and similar organizations in other communities do as well. A number of excellent state and national organizations also serve as sources of affirmation, connection to specific resources, and advocacy. We encourage you to browse the links in our gender violence resources list to reach organizations that address your particular needs. 

Accessing the services that could help you seek justice and healing, can be more complicated if you experience feelings of shame—about the assault and abuse, and even about being LGBTQ+.

Keep in mind that you do not have to disclose your sexual orientation to anyone, even in the emergency room. However, you may choose to do so anyway, because in order to determine your medical needs and gather necessary evidentiary information, health care professionals will ask if have recently had voluntary sexual intercourse and use birth control (if you are biologically female including a trans person who has not had bottom surgery). In addition, the fact of your LGBTQ+ identity may also be helpful information to a prosecutor in a rape case if the perpetrator’s defense is that the sex was consensual.

Non-offending partners of LGBTQ+ survivors may have their own set of reactions and feelings about the assault. Those feelings may be intensified if they are also survivors. If your partner was the perpetrator, you should know that intimate partner violence within LGBTQ+ relationships is much more common than you might think.

Above all, it is important to remember that the abuse, violence or assault is not something you brought on yourself. This may be hard to acknowledge if you are still coming to terms with your sexuality or gender identity, or dealing with other important issues in your life, or you were abused by your partner and found yourself making compromises out of love or for your own safety. Widespread social prejudice against LGBTQ+ people tells them that they are not valued, not worthy, or not welcome. Although these prejudices influence many things in society, including the services that LGBTQ+ people need, you will also find that more and more people and services do welcome, value, and want to help you. You have the right to nonjudgmental support, and to surround yourself with those who can emotionally support you best through the healing process.

Our culture emphasizes the fact that most adult survivors of sexual intimate partner violence are female or trans*. As a result, most cisgender men (whether straight or gay) don't think that these forms of violence can happen to them. The other issue, one that is often not discussed openly, is that many men are survivors of child sexual assault. By the time they reach adulthood, and perhaps when they leave home to go to college, they hold onto the hope that this abuse is behind them. It might be mostly in the past if they received counseling soon after the abuse, but for most survivors, this is a trauma that remains hidden. 

Gender based violence is equally devastating to all victims, regardless of sex, and regardless of the sex or gender of the perpetrator. You may feel rage, shame, guilt, powerlessness, helplessness, concern regarding your safety, and/or symptoms of physical illness.

According to the organization 1 in 6 (a wonderful resource for male survivors), “In response to these extreme negative emotions, people who have these experiences often attempt to ignore and block them out. This usually leaves them alternating between being emotionally numb and feeling overwhelmed and out of control.”

You may face additional issues, such as questions about your sexuality or masculinity, or reluctance to be examined for medical procedures. You may hesitate to report to law enforcement for fear of ridicule or fear that they won't believe you. The same feelings apply to telling other people you know and to finding appropriate resources and support. This is true even if you experienced the incident when you were very young and only now are realizing you need help. 

If you wish, if you may call the SARA or SHE crisis line hotline anonymously and request a male counselor. You may request an older or male nurse to assist in treatment at the hospital. You can find a support group of male survivors to help you in your healing process, or you can contact 1 in 6 through their web chat platform for help—they even offer anonymous online support groups for male survivors.

You need to know that strong or weak; outgoing or withdrawn; LGBTQI+; old or young; whatever your physical appearance, you have done nothing that justifies this violence against you. At no point and under no circumstance does anyone have the right to violate or control another. Sexually violent crimes and intimate partner violence are embedded in issues of violence and power, not of lust or passion.

As a man, many factors or fears may influence your decision to report or not report to law enforcement. The advantages of reporting include:

• The assailant may be caught and brought to trial.
• Your report may help protect others.
• Collection of medical evidence will be paid for by the Commonwealth of Virginia.
• You are eligible to apply for Victims of Violence Crimes Compensation, which can pay for therapy, medical expenses, property loss, even other costs that resulted from the impact of the violence.

There are some disadvantages as well:

• You may be treated in an insensitive manner;You may not be believed.
• Prosecution is often unsuccessful.

If you are LGBTQI+, you may feel that somehow you "brought this on" yourself. You may fear disclosure of your sexual orientation. You may fear for your safety or feel "survivor's guilt" if you survived a hate crime. And you may know your assailant. He could be an acquaintance, a friend, a colleague, a date, a partner. Please see the section on LGBTQI+ survivors for more information.

Feeling responsible is a normal reaction to sexual violence. However, sexual violence is never the responsibility of the survivor. You did nothing to deserve this. We encourage you to come forward and obtain the resources and support that you need. 

Most people aren’t aware that sexual assault and intimate partner violence against people with physical, sensory, mental health or learning disabilities are very common. This is because people who commit these assaults perceive disabled people as easy targets, and they frequently get away with these crimes. It’s also very likely that you know the person who abused you: most often the assailant is someone the survivor knows, or who has some role in her/his care. You may have even become disabled, or further disabled, because of the abuse.

A 2007 report (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report on Crime Against People with Disabilities) points out that as many as 40% of women with disabilities experience sexual assault or physical violence in their lifetimes (National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, Canada) and that more than 90% of all people with developmental disabilities will experience sexual assault (Schwartz & Valenti-Hein, 1995).  Disabled survivors are also more likely to experience a longer duration of sexual abuse, and are more likely to experience sexual violence from someone they know – one study estimates that for survivors with disabilities, 33% of abusers are acquaintances, 33% are family members, and 25% are other caregivers or service providers

While disabled people experience forms of interpersonal violence that are very similar to the experiences of people without disabilities, power and control are often exerted in specific ways based on the type of disability or medical needs. Some forms of abuse a disabled survivor may experience include: 

• The perpetrator restricts the survivor’s access to medical services, such as doctors’ appointments or medications. 
• Blaming the survivor for the violence, saying they were being uncooperative in relation to mobility needs, or that their mental health issues were a problem.
• Denying the violence, for example “I’m not doing that, you are just too pain sensitive.” 
• Telling the survivor’s other support systems that they are confused or don’t understand what is going on or telling those support systems that the survivor doesn’t need their assistance while denying them the care they need. 
• Control of financial resources, access to food or transportation services. 
• Telling the survivor that they cannot survive without the abuser, or that no one else will be able to help them.
• In the case of sexual assault, the perpetrator may tell the survivor that they were lucky and that nobody else would want to have sex with them. In addition, there are people who might believe that disabled people don’t have a right to control their own sexuality or even who has access to their bodies.

The bottom line is this: no one has the right to assault you. You might feel powerless to do something about it because this person has control of your care or your finances, or has more authority than you, or is seen as more powerful. You may actually feel confused about what happened and may not be sure that what happened was legally wrong, even if it feels wrong. Regardless of that person’s role in your life, you still have the right to file a complaint and seek redress against them.

You may find, as you may have prior to your assault, that people who are supposed to be “helping” you treat you as though you are helpless or unable to understand what happened. They may ignore your needs, acting as though they know what is best for you. Others may feel that you won’t be effective in helping apprehend your assailant. All these ideas are misconceptions, not facts, about people with a wide range of disabilities. You have the right to be treated with the same care and concern as any other survivor. It’s okay to ask for a companion from SARA or the Victim & Witness Program to work with you on your terms. At UVA, the Confidential Advocate can provide support and guidance throughout your recovery and any processes you choose to use, as individuals working in other programs. 

Your family might be a great resource for you as well, although some survivors with disabilities find that parents or other family members become overprotective. The more you can make decisions for yourself, the more empowered you will feel. 

The assault may make you feel very vulnerable. You may want to seek emotional support and other kinds of assistance from local agencies which advocate for persons with disabilities. It might be helpful to ask the agency if there is a staff member with experience in working with sexual assault issues. Because this is rarely the case, you may decide to work with two advocates: a sexual assault companion and a disabilities advocate. 

If your disability is related to mental health, you probably won’t be surprised to know that this kind of trauma can aggravate existing mental illness, whether biologically based (such as bipolar) or trauma-based (such as anxiety or PTSD). In this instance it can be important to let your mental health professional know or find someone as soon as possible if you haven’t been seeing a therapist.

If you are a UVA student, you also have resources on grounds: Student Disabilities Access Center (SDAC), Maxine Platzer Lynn Women’s Center (where the confidential advocate and trauma counselors are located), Equal Opportunity and Civil Rights Office (EOCR), where the Title IX and ADA office is located, and the Office of the Dean of Students. All of these resources are physically accessible.

The Women’s Center is located in the Corner Building, which you can reach by walking down to 14th St. and University Avenue or on the CAT Trolley (wheelchair accessible), which stops right in front of our building. If you wish to make an appointment with the confidential advocate, you can reach her at 434-982-2774 or email confidential.advocate@virginia.edu.

If you have a close friend or on-grounds advocate that you trust, ask that person to be your companion at meetings when it is appropriate. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a second set of eyes and ears to make sure that communication is clear. You may also want to learn self-defense; regardless of your disability, there are self-defense techniques, including assertiveness and physical techniques modified to your needs, which you may find empowering.

There are also a number of online resources and articles that may be helpful for you or for loved ones: 

The Vera Institute of Justice is an advocacy organization with excellent resources and information on their site, including information for survivors with disabilities or who are Deaf as well as for transgender survivors.

The Intersections of Disability and Violence (Joyful Heart Foundation)

A Healthy and Safe Dating Life for All

This is a difficult period for undocu+ individuals, and we understand that it may be very frightening to think about contacting any resource for assistance--especially hospitals or police--when you don’t know if they will notify ICE. 

There is some important information for you to know if you aren't a citizen or permanent resident of the United States, and live in Virginia:

• You are entitled to receive treatment for the medical injuries that you may have received during a sexual assault.
• The health care providers at UVA Hospital and Martha Jefferson Hospital cannot ask you about your citizenship and will not. [it’s important to note that only UVA Hospital can provide forensic care after a violent crime, so it’s best to go there.]
• The UVA hospital is required by state law to report juvenile (under age 18) sexual assault to the local law enforcement agency. The UVA hospital also notifies the law enforcement agency about crimes of sexual assault against adults. If you are undocumented, and do not want contact with law enforcement, ask the hospital staff to give the information to law enforcement after you leave. If you have questions about this, contact SARA or SHE. They will be able to give you additional information.
• The medical information that you give to the health care provider is confidential. It will not be released to anyone, including a law enforcement officer or other government representative, without your permission.
• If you choose to report the assault to law enforcement you are eligible for benefits and services from the Victim/Witness Assistance Program and Commonwealth Attorney's Office.
• If you are a survivor of a sexual assault that took place in the U.S. and you have been helpful in an investigation or prosecution of that crime, you may be eligible for a U-Visa. If you have questions about this, contact SARA’s 24 hr. hotline at 434-977-7273.
• If your partner is abusing you, you may be able to receive protection from deportation, and even apply for permanent residency without your partner's sponsorship, under the Violence Against Women Act. For information about this, call SHE at 434-293-8509. You may also want to speak to an immigration attorney or Central Virginia Legal Aid for help with this issue. There are special visas for this situation. 
• If someone, including your partner, is forcing you to prostitute yourself, this is called trafficking, and there are special visas to protect you if you cooperate with law enforcement in these cases as well. If you are being trafficked, you can also get help through the Polaris Project’s National Human Trafficking Hotline: 888-373-7888. You can also text “BeFree” to 233733 (12:00pm – 8:00pm PST)
• The National Immigrant Women's Advocacy Project 202-274-445 provide information and legal advice in several languages.

You have the right to bring your assailant to trial, regardless of whether or not you are a US citizen. This is true even if the attacker was your husband. It is possible for you to go to the local magistrate (Charlottesville or Albemarle County) at 230 Court Square (977-0220) and file a warrant against your assailant. Generally, the magistrate won't issue a warrant for a sexual assault without a police investigation, although it isn't required. Ask the Commonwealth's Attorney to provide an interpreter for you if you feel uncomfortable communicating in English.

In order to receive financial reimbursement of medical expenses through the Division of Crime Victims' Compensation, you must report the assault to a law enforcement officer or file a warrant. You also must provide them with a passport or other proof that you are the citizen of another country.