I’m tired. I was distraught recently to hear of the passing of a former colleague of mine. Bonnie was so bright and vibrant. She was a kind woman who always greeted me and others with warmth, no matter their position or title. The news of her passing came amid allegations she had been bullied and mistreated when asking from help from her institution. 

Unfortunately, Bonnie’s experience is not uncommon. Higher education has gained a reputation for inviting women of color with open arms, then treating them with disregard. Time and time again we see institutions that are founded on the promise of intellect, innovation, and social progress leave behind the very people they once claimed to value.

Women of color are asked to be representatives, mascots even, of diversity and inclusion, but many feel held captive and forced to stay “in their place” within the ivory tower. To be seen and not heard. In my short seven years in higher education, I’ve watched many faculty and staff of color leave and be pushed out after being harassed and humiliated in front of colleagues, while those accused of actual harm, harassment, and even assault are coddled while wearing a tenured cloak. 

Higher education is in a serious leadership crisis. Many women of color like me decided to flock to higher ed because we saw these institutions as beacons of change and progress. Instead, we have found what feels like a Roman arena. I entered higher education at the height of a DEI push for more inclusive leadership, policies, and programming. Unfortunately, I’ve witnessed those tasked with these roles struggling without the resources they need not only to thrive in higher ed, but also simply to survive, especially in the current climate of backlash towards these initiatives.

To Bonnie’s family and loved ones, I offer prayers for peace and comfort. Her light will never fade. She and many other Black women taught me the importance of cultivating a sense of belonging in a world that thrives on apathy and isolation. We finally have our seats at the table, but was getting here truly worth it, if we are not even allowed to eat?